A judge
asked a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with
a chain saw."
From out in the audience a man shouted, "Lying
bastard!"
"Silence in the court!", the judge shouted back to the man. He turned
to the defendant and said, "You are also charged with
killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"Tightwad!", blurted the man
again.
"Quiet!", yelled the judge who continued, "You are also charged with
killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"Son of
a..." the man started to shout when the judge thundered back, "If you don't tell me
reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!"
So the
man answered, "I've lived next to that man for ten years now, but do you
think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one!"
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